Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
