No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
