Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I will be naked everywhere
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
