After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
