did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
