just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
