This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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