Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ketchup is God's man juice
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
