Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
