I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize