Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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