Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
