Dual....:-)
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
