it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
