Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
