I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
