he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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