So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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