i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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