3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
