This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
