Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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