Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
