you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
