apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
