Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
