you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
