He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
