I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize