Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I need moral support for this bender
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
