Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
