Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
