There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
