Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
