Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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