I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
