AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
did you just send me my own nude
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
