she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize