I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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