she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
