I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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