I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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