Dual....:-)
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
