I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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