Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
