it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
