I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
