Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
