so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
