There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
