Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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