She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
