I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
