There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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