This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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