butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize