I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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