Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I see more hoeing in ur future
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