Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
