TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
